Juni 17

A Lot Ado About Making Love With Lesbians | Autostraddle


It has been a big week for homosexual-related basic individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

Our very own very first piece relates to all of us via xojane, the women’s web site went upwards by Jane Pratt (my personal champion)

(i am really serious) of




Titled “
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,“ this part is part of the „it just happened in my experience“ element which also existed at JANE journal and is made up largely of writer/reader-submitted reports of subjectively fascinating personal encounters.

The unknown writer of this piece, who I’ll contact „Ariel,“ is actually bisexual, but because she readily provides strike tasks to her male associates but does not big date or usually decrease on women, the woman is, she explains, technically, merely a “


Pillow Princess.“ (She in addition relates to by herself as „mostly straight“ and „right“ at some other points during the narrative.) Her reputation started, she explains, when the woman basic lesbian hookup — a smokin‘ hot dyke called Kelly at the woman college — went down on her behalf for an hour. She la-la-la-loved it and right away fled the world fearing her very own incapacity to do this type of fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted time period.

She writes:

„obviously, phrase got around that she and I had connected and this I would left the lady holding, which had the odd aftereffect of offering me personally folk-heroine condition. Kelly also known as myself a „pillow princess,“ and henceforth, I found myself one. It had been like some type of flick conceit where the character is actually seen erroneously as a celebrity and gets to drive in a limo and remain in a fancy hotel for the reason that it.“

This it seems that totally exercised within her favor, as she romped about in college setting up with many „aggressive types exactly who had gotten off throughout the idea that I happened to be unwilling to try to let a lady touch me personally.“ Post-college, she moved on towards internet, where she advertised this lady relaxed status and frequently found up with women for NSA gender.

Nearby the end she problematically clarifies that whenever starting up with a woman she is perhaps not interested in, she simply closes the woman sight and envisions another person „while [the lesbian] does the woman thing.“ Sometimes it appears like she desires females to eat the woman away even though they may be allegedly better at it than men are. She


go-down to them but „I am not dating them, and I do not think I would personally want my personal fetish corrupted by caring for someone enough to surrender.“

I wouldn’t want to stay near to Ariel on an aircraft, but the woman one-sided sexual activities tend to be consensual and she actually is just advising a genuine story of her life, and so I’m certainly not certain what to label of this (and I also’m curious to know what you create from it, if any such thing).

Subsequently, on Jezebel (via
The Good Men Project
) we now have
We hitched a Lesbian (and that I’m a man)
. The author, Hugo Schwyzer, „tended to obtain crushes for a passing fancy brand of lady: the celebrity baseball player, the football forward, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some weren’t.“ The guy wondered:

What is it that received me personally so often to women that were same-sex drawn? It really was not the stereotypical male fantasy about what these people were doing in bed, therefore truly had nothing in connection with a macho belief that i really could switch a gay girl right.

In elements, the part (which really does tred on some stereotypical ground) reminded me personally with this price from

Girls Nearby

which I quoted in articles about female manliness

„…if we’d to produce an added generalization about lesbian taste, it might be that many you are powerfully drawn to women, homosexual or right, stunning or perhaps not, whom seem just as if they’re able to look after by themselves.“

The author fundamentally marries a lesbian whom delivered as direct, and then he found their particular causing sex-life getting unsatisfactory. She refused to offer him strike tasks and didn’t enjoy entrance but happily accepted their choices of cunnilingus. When their unique sexless relationship concluded in divorce case and a drug relapse (for him), he could be apparently thoughtful to his ex-wife’s challenge rather than labeling the woman as deceitful (as much regarding the commenters carry out):

She had come from a conservative family members who would have now been deeply embarrassed to own a homosexual kid. She may also have recognized, but did her best to hide it, possibly hoping that the woman emotions might change. Or she might-have-been like many females i have understood, and just found the woman real sexual identification after currently getting hitched to men.


What’s redeeming about that article to me that the writer’s conception of his or her own gender is generally free of the standard masculine posturing any might anticipate in a bit such as this (the guy even refers to himself as „femmy“). Maybe it simply appears that means because guys thus rarely talk about wishing powerful, athletic, powerful women with short hair; but it’s energizing nevertheless.

I really don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for informing their own stories, but it’s really worth mentioning that both narratives seem to drive about concept that bedroom conduct could be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s business, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a „warning indication“ he skipped, when entrance is actually barely a specifically heterosexual work (it appears much more likely Courtney feared the intimacy of entrance with a man she did not wish as with, yet that knows) and dropping crazy, in the long run, is mostly about your pussy but it’s in addition about your cardiovascular system and it’s really primarily about having passionate thoughts. Those passionate emotions are what converts a hook-up connection into a relationship, in the end.

Finally at


there is a nice tale right through the pony’s mouth —
My Personal First-time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. I believe this is basically the first-time the „first-time“ series features highlighted a lesbian.

Essentially, in ninth level, the writer confessed to her closest friend that she had lesbian thoughts on her behalf, and her closest friend reciprocated, in addition they proceeded to continue a covert lesbian union plus they are nonetheless collectively now and she actually is a grown-up during the army!

It appears they will have but to take their unique relationship out from the closet, that will be quite puzzling, but whatever

. [


: ends up this story was written before DADT had been repealed, though it just adopted released, for that reason nothing is puzzling going on here. This is just straight-up sweet in every single means, unequivocally.]

The main focus of the portion (and is very adorable and sweet) is on the writer’s development of
what lesbian sex is quite

We had never ever gone down on every additional, and I also had been confident that’s what we’d meant as soon as we mentioned we wished to have sexual intercourse. (Now I realize that absolutely a lot more to fucking than slurping a female’s snatch and phoning it everyday.)

She concludes:

I know that many men and women disagree about what virginity method for a homosexual girl, but virginity is wholly personal, plus it truly depends on whom you’re asking. People might say penetration must be included, but In my opinion it is to anyone shedding his / her virginity. Basically feel like i have lost my virginity, subsequently goddammit, We have!

I invested the majority of the morning and afternoon looking at wordpress, trying to figure out just what point i really could make about any of these parts. I thought a large amount about why we’d never publish „I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess“ on this subject internet site but are unable to see through the reason that I’d worry 50 of you would vow never to return right here therefore the remaning many-thousands people would combat together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure before temperature loss of the universe. I envisioned somebody submitting „I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess“ to all of us via email right after which I imagined the article meeting where we’d get to that tale and all say „NO“ while doing so.

In searching for a point to gleam from these tales, I’ve attempted to figure out what you’ll imagine or say, and that I can’t, and that I like to complete this post as soon as possible to accelerate the process of me discovering what you believe about these tales. Yup, the very first time from the time starting Autostraddle, I’ve got not a clue things to state about something. So perhaps i ought to only ask you — what is your own response to these pieces?

Prior to going!

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